Baltimore Billy's Chicken Parmesan

Baltimore Bill. He comes by once in awhile, raises Cain and then, perhaps mercifully, leaves. I'm kidding. This is Dan, guest blogger. I'm here to write the tale of my best man's chicken parm. Sum and I listened to him brag about its awesomeness this weekend, and decided to give it a try (after he left, so as not to offend if we f***ed it up). In my humble opinion, we succeeded. I liked it so much that I took it to work for lunch the next day. Here are the details:

Ingredients

• Chicken breasts (the thicker, the better. We usually buy a pack of three--one for each of us for dinner, and one for me for the next day's lunch)
• Fresh lemon
• Milk
• Bread crumbs (ours are years old, I recommend fresher)
• Mozzarella cheese
• American cheese
• Tomato sauce
• Spaghetti
• Olive oil
• Parmesan cheese

In a frying pan, cook up the chicken, adding just a hint of olive oil. At the same time, get some water boiling for the pasta. Once the chicken is done cooking (cook it fully--you don't want to get sick like when that family at my church cooked chicken gizards years back and everyone hurled), dip it in a bowl full of squeezed lemon juice mixed with milk. Baltimore Bill just uses fresh lemon juice, but we wanted to make sure those crumbs stuck, so we added some milk. It looked curdy and nasty, but as they say, it all goes down the same! Then, dip the chicken boobs into the bread crumbs, coating the entire surface. The chicken should now be covered fully in bread crumbs.

Lay the chicken into a broiling pan (with aluminum foil on the bottom--we don't like crusties when doing dishes), pour on some tomato sauce, and drop some american and mozzarella cheese on top. Put these in the broiler at 425 for about 10 minutes. Simultaneously, cook up your spaghetti so it's all good and ready when the chicken is done. You'll know that your chicken is ready for carnage when the cheese is melted.

Heat up some more sauce for the pasta, and drop the chicken, pasta, and sauce on the plate. I always sprinkle some parmesan cheese on my pasta. That's right--three cheeses for one meal. Anything less would be uncivilized. Top it all off with a big ole glass of milk and you'll  be feeling full.

Baltimore Bill, thanks for allowing us the pleasure of devouring your chicken boobs. Sum, thanks for being an awesome cooking--and life--companion.